My Eyes on a Bender

I love a dramatic eye–give me some kohl liner and a shaded brow bone any day. Personally, my eyes can’t pull off that invisible make up trick and I kind of hate women who can . . . unless they regularly read my blog. Then we’re cool.

The majority of my magic potions are geared toward eye beautification: primers, brushes, shadows, wands, pencils, pots, sticks, and even some olive oil. My eye fixation is the result of a myriad of eye issues.

My pale skin and sleep habits give me dark shadows under my eyes. The watering that takes place every time I yawn, sneeze, or smell something weird causes running eye make up. In general, I look like my eyes have been on a three day bender. Not a Bridgitte Bardot bender with sex, tousled hair, fabulous sweaters, and French subtitles. Sadly, a “I’ve been listening to Sublime, watching an I Love the 80s marathon, eating day old burritos out of a bag while wearing yoga pants and a Plant Hollywood Madrid t shirt” bender. (Not that I or anyone I know has ever done that.)

To avoid that very unflattering look, I have to use waterproof everything and concealer that can double as house paint. Random true story: In college we used my concealer to cover up nail holes in our dorm walls because the color was a perfect match.

As for the dark circles, it’s a constant battle. I don’t eat meat or even much dairy, I try to sleep at least 6 hours a night, and I don’t smoke. The only thing that kind of works is the olive oil regime I’m posting below. And that really only keeps the wrinkles as bay.

Any suggestions, Cakesters? Or should I just give myself over to my Bender Eyes and let people think I live a scandalously wild life?




Pour 1/4 teaspoon of extra-virgin olive, jojoba, almost, or apricot kernel oil into the palm of your hand. Dip your ring finger into the oil and gently pat it around your eye beginning with the outer corner and slowly moving beneath your eye toward the inner corner. Then work onto the very upper portion of the lid or brow bone area and back to the outer corner. Repeat several times and then pat off any extra oil. Warning: Don’t get in your eyes unless you want to look like you have pink eye. Plus is burns like the dickens.

Categories: Life and Other Nonsense | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Post navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: