I have discussed my daughter on several occasions, the good and the bad. But my son has been merely a figure of passing. And so, in honor of his first birthday Friday, I would like to share a few details about my baby boy Alexander, aka Little Man, Mini Man, Pooh Bear, Sweet Boy, and the most fitting, Magic Man.
People who know Alex will not need an explanation when I say that perhaps the best place for his birthday party is Hooters. For those who think that is disgusting, let me explain. Even at just a year old, Alex’s loves are strong and clear: women, food, boobs, Winnie the Pooh, Micky Mouse, cars, dogs, his sister, food, and women. Emphasis on food and women.
Food–there are days when my husband does not see Alex without some sort of food. He has been known to growl at people and animals to take their food away. At a year old, he still has no teeth, but he apparently doesn’t need them. Little Man took down some ribs a week ago out of sheer force of will. He can be in a dead sleep, but will somehow magically rouse at the smell of food. He bit our pit bull to get her bone away from her. This is a boy who takes his eating seriously.
Women–what can I say? Sure babies are cute. Sure people are drawn to them. But Alex has some sort of voodoo, coupled with shameless flirting skills that make him ridiculous when it comes to women. As his daddy observed, “He has more game at 11 months than I’ve had my whole life.”
Certainly, Alex is friendly and will smile at people in general. However, he has special moves reserved just for the fairer sex (any age or ethnicity) including:
- The Brow–Used initially on his nanny, Alex has been known to raise one or both eyebrows to show his appreciation for a lady. His version of “How you doin’?”
- The Dance–During a recent trip to Disney World he added a little side to side head dance so that he could compete with other babies for attention. It worked. There was a line of French waitresses in Epcot who seemed to have business right next to our table for two hours, specifically in the area of Alex’s high chair.
- The Clap–You clap for Alex, Alex will clap for you.
- The Kicks–It’s as if he’s saying, “I’m so happy to be around you I have to kick to get all the joy out!”
- The Point–Like a rock star pointing to a girl in the crowd, Alex uses this to show a smiling woman that she could be the one. It’s usually followed by,
- The Smile–No pearly whites? No problem. With a gummy smile that reaches into his bright blue eyes, Alex says all he needs to say with one look.
His record for picking up women stands at fifteen (a college volleyball team). And I have that security of knowing that should anything happen to me, my husband just has to take Alex to HEB to find someone to take care of them. Every time I leave them alone in that store to go get milk, I come back to find Alex and Staley obscured by women who have gathered around the cart to look at Alex. I know a little girl that cries every time Alex leaves her. His response? He smiles as if to say, “Don’t worry, honey, there’s always more Alex.”
Despite all his game, my little man has one girl he loves more than all the others: his big sister, Lili. He saves the special smiles, hugs, and kisses just for her. There is even a special squeal/laugh combo that is only brought out for “ee-ee” as he calls her. I guess even the Magic Man can be bewitched.
Happy birthday, Magic Man. We’re all under your spell.