“Because these days we want our ingenues to be everything: all sweetness and light bondage.”
By the time I turned 25, I thought I had figured out exactly who I was. I knew what I was good at, what I struggled with, and what my aspirations were. With no doubts, I married my rock star soul mate and settled into working on my masters degree. We knew we would someday start our careers, get health insurance, and start a family–in that order.
One year into our marriage we managed to buy our first house and together, in our pseudo-intellectual way (it included a pro and con list), we decided to start a family. Our daughter was born in 2006 while I was working on the second year of my masters. The fall of her second birthday I started my career (not job, career) as a college professor. It was the first post-grad school job I applied for. I’m lucky.
Now I’m over halfway through my second year of teaching and my second (and final pregnancy). And I find, that with everything that has commensed, I am in the middle of an identity crisis. See, I’m too young to be Generation X and almost too old to be the true Techno Generation. Who I am as a person hasn’t, for the most part, changed. But what I want, how I want to live–that’s where the crisis erupts.
As a college teacher, I am young enough to share some of the same music tastes as my students but old enough to think Gossip Girl is utter crap. I understand the appeal of Twilight but also think that Buffy the Vampire is far superior.
The thing is, I still want to be me–still love the things I love. But I also want to be a teacher for my kids. Sure, my daughter knows that the Ramones are amazing, but there is more to life than that, n’est pas?
It’s funny that things have come to this point. When Betty Friedan wrote The Feminine Mystique, one of her chief assertions was that women lost their identities in their families. I now of have a strange bastardization of that issue. I need to know how to layer on my identity as a mom, wife, and teacher with what is already there.
So in this techno world, I have decided to organize my exploits here as I try to balance being an intellectual, a teacher, a wife, a mom, and a pop culture enthusiast with everything else random in the world. My posts will deal with a variety of topics as they occur in my life–health, food, children, literature, education, homemaking, fashion, and whatever else life brings to my attention.